macbrownracing.comCal 70.3 - Not a race report
April 5th, 2011 | by Mac |Obviously I am not excited about how I raced over the weekend. However, I think this race may be the best thing that may have ever happened to me. Let me explain.
A few years back a friend of mine (Dave Jewell) wrote a blog post about being a “pro” triathlete. After reading this post I was honestly pissed off. Really pissed off. Who the hell did he think he was? He was my boss at RoadRunner Sports and knew a ton about shoes and running, but what the hell did he know about triathlon and “acting like a pro”?
For those who have followed my career thus far, it has been lackluster to say the least. Being very honest with myself, I am not a professional triathlete . . . not even close, never have been. I barely qualified to renew my pro license this time around and gave a long hard thought about even racing professionally this year. I raced Kona last year because I got a “lucky” roll down spot at IM Wisconsin - one of the least competitive races on the IM circuit. I WAS THE WORST PRO ON THE START LIST AT KONA. Injuries, over-training and mental breakdowns are nothing but excuses as to why I have not performed to my capability. At the end of the day I am responsible for these things that happened, no one else.
I am 33 years old and need to make a decision. Either I act like a professional triathlete or not. That means I re-evaluate every aspect of my training. I will break it down to what I feel are the most important aspects. . .
Training (swim/bike/run) - I am good at listening to my coach. I have committed to Dr. Skiba and we will grow with each other as time goes by. We need to iron out a few kinks, but I believe in him.
Strength Training - I am doing a good job with this and will stick with it. Good news is I am injury free and I think working with FunctionSmart trainers Chris and Gino are a big part of the reason why.
Nutrition - I will give myself a F here. I am WAY too heavy to compete at this level. What I mean by heavy is my natural body weight is 180lbs. I am a big guy from years of lifting weights and doing massive amounts of creatine in college. It was necessary to be as strong as possible to play college lacrosse (I was 205lbs in college). I never really changed my eating patterns since college, I just trained more and the weight came off. This needs to change and WILL change. Right after Cal I came home (had a pity party like a child) and swore things would change. They will. I will get lean. Triathlon is a strength to weight sport. Nutrition is a simple choice. I know what to do, what to eat. The act of actually eating the right things is nothing but discipline.
Mental game - F. F. F. As soon as we get in the water to warm-up for the swim I have no confidence in myself, none. Bad thoughts pop in to my head and I doubt all my training/fitness. When I am down coming out of the water, I fold. I will ride hard, but the white flag has already been waved. This is inexcusable. Mental breakdowns like this are not professional, they are AMATEUR.
There are no prizes for the athlete who came back from injury and finished an Ironman on the professional level. No one cares. I have been using this as an excuse as to why my racing has sucked so bad. Pathetic. Do you think Macca, Potts, Alexander or Henning would whine because they had some injuries to overcome?
Let’s look at Jordan Rapp. I consider Jordan to be the most professional athlete in the entire sport. He is a role model, he races hard as hell and is very intelligent. How many times have you heard Jordan complain about his fitness because he almost got killed in a car accident? How many? 0 - no times. Not once. You know why? The finish line does not care about injuries or excuses, Jordan knows this. The first guy across the line wins. You think other athletes feel bad about Jordan’s accident when they race him? Yeah right. They go at him even harder and he knows this. Jordan is nails.
I can sit here and write this nice and eloquent blog about how I am going to change, but that’s all it is . . . writing. I know I have the talent to compete at a VERY high level, but that means nothing. Anyone can vow to change. ANYONE. Talk is cheap. Talk is for pussies. Am I am pussy? Am I going act like a man and a professional? That remains to be seen . . .
23 Responses to “Cal 70.3 - Not a race report”
By Ryan Weeger on Apr 5, 2011 | Reply
YES!
By zach in a cubicle on Apr 5, 2011 | Reply
Honesty pays man. Change and you will have no regrets. This is just another step to success great to see someone address it honestly. And it is every profession not just athletic.
You expressed yourself very well.
By Dave Jewell on Apr 5, 2011 | Reply
Mac,
That takes guts. Big respect on this. I’ve always looked up to you and I always will. I’m no expert in food or training. I only know what worked for me this year to lose 20lbs. Mark Sisson taught me the way. I finally decided I hated how I felt and needed a complete change just like you say. Mark is a brilliant guy and it all made sense. All except he thinks endurance athletes are nuts. Anyway if it helps at all.
Dave
By Ian Mikelson on Apr 5, 2011 | Reply
Good Stuff Mac. Way to put it out there. Good stuff.
By Mike from CO on Apr 5, 2011 | Reply
Hey…I read your post via the Zoot sports facebook post.
I’m not a pro, but rather a middle aged beginner with a full time job and a couple of little kids. I started racing to get in shape and have some fun, but after about two years of training seven tri’s and numerous other running races, I’ve just hit a wall. I’ve been finding lots of excuses to not train.
Your blog post was eye opening…in the space of a couple minutes, I’m reassessing my approach and motivation. I need to get back, and you excuses don’t get you across the finish line. Anyhow, just wanted to let you knwo that in a wierd way your post was inspirational, and helped me get over my mental wall. Now I need to go train!
Best of luck…I hope you make it over the hump, I’ll be checking the box scores to see your times.
Sincerely
Mike in CO
By eric on Apr 5, 2011 | Reply
Good life lessons for everyone. Thanks for making me think.
By Christine on Apr 5, 2011 | Reply
Mac,
I respect you so much more than MOST of the other triathletes out there. It takes a lot of strength to really take that hard look at ourselves and do the necessary things to facilitate change. That being said, I also feel like you don’t need to beat yourself up about it. You’ve done your introspection and now it’s just a matter of moving forward positively and proactively. You ARE great and so many people recognize that and support you wholeheartedly. To me, you have been truly inspiring.
By Bill Plock on Apr 5, 2011 | Reply
You are right about Jordan, he was inspirational in Arizona this year, but I suspect you have and will inspire many as well. Sometimes I think it’s to easy to forget how amazing your accomplishments are. Keep reaching and thanks for the honesty!
By Helen Phipps on Apr 5, 2011 | Reply
Mac,
I agree that your post is inspirational. I am also a “Pro” by qualification, but haven’t had much time to train with full time school and work. Mentally, I’ve been beat up and just about gave up last season. You are proof that I am not alone and that there is a light at the end of this tunnel and I can turn myself around if I get out of my own way!
Thanks,
Helen
By Michael Gosman on Apr 5, 2011 | Reply
Great to see someone with a passion to change. Print this out and tape it up all over your house, read it everyday. Hope to see you at the top in no time. Good luck with it.
By James on Apr 6, 2011 | Reply
Came here via Slowtwitch and I’m impressed by the very public evaluation of your racing. Best of luck with the weight loss and mental prep. Oh and loose thos socks if you still wear the same ones on the front of the website!
By VB fan on Apr 6, 2011 | Reply
Good Luck Mac! You’ve got the talent and the head for it, go get it!
By Greg on Apr 6, 2011 | Reply
I was inspired by the post of your blog on Slowtwitch. I am an age group IM triathlete, a Husband, Father, and manager of a large business. I can totally relate to your self assesment and I will be a fan of yours from now on.
By cortney on Apr 6, 2011 | Reply
This was the most motivating article I’ve ever read! Thank you for sharing. I can’t wait to get out for my next ride!
By Jordo on Apr 7, 2011 | Reply
Pep talks are for pussies.
Complaining in a blog about your shortcomings (with the subconscious thought that people will hopefully say to you “you’re awesome, you have great potential, this blog was so inspirational bla bla bla”) over time is for pussies. If you really wana fix your self confidence you don’t write about it hoping people give you great replies, cause lets face it, im sure the comments made you feel a “little” better right? Go read an inspirational book about a war hero or somebody facing death at some point and then overcoming insurmountable odds to get inspiration and self confidence.
If macca, potts, rapp, henning don’t complain about it in a blog…Why are you doing it right now in a blog? Thats what made rapp such a bad ass….Hear nothing then WHAM…smashes arizona. Instead 11 paragraphs of some sort of whining or bitching.
A simple wow, i didnt live up to my expectations again…Time to harden the fuck up and stop bitching about it, talk is cheap….Would have sufficed.
By Mike from CO on Apr 7, 2011 | Reply
@Jordo…you are an ass.
By Ryan on Apr 7, 2011 | Reply
I agree…..with Jordo. Harden the fuck up. Mike, go back to your support group. Elite athletes over analyze everything. Quit musing about your races and just smash. Support is for weak people.
By angie funtanilla on Apr 7, 2011 | Reply
awesome post. love the self-reflection!
By Jetta-The-Hut on Apr 9, 2011 | Reply
I agree with you, i’m a middle ager also who after ever milestone or race takes way to much time off to recover, finshed my first 13.1 in march and have only ran and rode 2 days since, its been over 2 weeks. I find Mac’s post very strong and encouring to get my butt out there and start training again, my first 70.3 is in October so wish me luck. I’ll be following Mac from now on cause even though he’s doesn’t feel like a pro hes got the heart of a warrior, and thats all pro in my book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By Jim Gourley on Apr 9, 2011 | Reply
Mac,
I just became a huge fan. I don’t care who wins Kona this year. I’m watching to see whether you’ll fight all the demons between you and where you want to be.
By Jenny Davidson on Apr 9, 2011 | Reply
No, it’s an interesting and worthwhile post - honest and self-scourging, you wouldn’t want to be writing like that every day, but now and again it is the only way to go! The nutrition is hard to get on top of, the mental game is even harder - good luck, I wish you the best…
By Missy Patterson on May 1, 2011 | Reply
Do you have a blog Jordo? Blogs are a point of reflection - they aren’t written for others as much as they are for the writer himself. It’s like a diary; personal reflections. Mac invited us to read some of his reflections; but the post was written for himself not you and not for some pallid ‘encouragement’. You sir obviously are not an intellectual.